DAVE. A friend of mine got on the el train the other day and a man was sitting there holding a large balloon in his lap. The man himself was paying no attention to the balloon, but everyone around him was staring at it intensely. It was like they were fascinated by it, like they couldn't take their eyes off of it. Finally the man spoke. He said: "You can all go fuck yourselves. Quit looking at my fucking balloon." The people looked at the floor. The train stopped and the man got off. 2 stops later a woman got on carrying a tank with a small lizard. Everybody very conspicuously avoided looking at the lizard. After a few minutes of this the woman lifts up the cover of the tank and the lizard says, "Jeez, relax, wouldja? It's not like I'm a goddamn balloon."
(The spotlight clicks off.)
CURTAIN