* from the UIUC Allen Residence Hall (I really miss living there):
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"Actually, Belle, you fit in at Allen perfectly. You're a freak,
just like the rest of us."
-Tarik Dozier

"Well thank you very much... I guess."
-Belle Drake

"Tarik, you're on me. Wait... let me rephrase that."
-Kristi Miatke

"The noogie is a two-edged sword."
-Jason Allen

"I am not a saxophone."
-Meryl Ibis

"I'm a freak."
-Brandon Lease

"Don't ask me, I'm stupid."
-DJ Kaiser

"It musta been destiny that I got this breast."
-Jason Lajska

"Everyone needs a drew."
-Jenny Heaton

"Hi, I'm a lesbian, and this is my big Goth friend."
-Christina Cary

"Diction is sexy."
-Meryl Ibis

"No, I'm sorry, but I'm more of a freak than you."
-Brandon Lease

"They're just like goats. You get 'em on their knees, and then..."
-Rachel Nacion

"To procrastinate is to have lived."
-Kristi Miatke

"There is no breakfast, only gruel."
-Tarik Dozier & Brandon Lease

"I can get my own Elmo."
-Oksana Dudycz

"Top, dammit, top!"
-Cherish Keller

"I kinda threw the deer carcass on it."
-Lee Smeltzer

"Hurry up and do it before I change my mind."
-Christina Cary

"It's hard to breath down there."
-Kristi Miatke

"For finals, 57 dollars worth of study snatch... I mean snacks."
-drew Edwards

"Get ready for an amazing feat of the human body!"
-Brandon Lease

"The major problem with the world can be attributed to the fact that 
fifty percent of the human race is simply dumber than the median."
-Tarik Dozier

"I like to be tied down, but I'm not sure if she..."
-Cherish Keller

"Sorry I'm not ready, Mom... I was licking the whip."
-Christina Cary

"The 'm'... is for 'murder!'"
-Jeff Sapyta (displaying an m&m)

"Did I mention that I was a freak?"
-Brandon Lease

"Once you architecture majors finally accept that sleep is a luxury,
it's easier to do without." 
-Tarik Dozier

"...If the gay man would offer us a dance with the salmon pole."
-Stephen Lackey

"I think it would be cool to just be tied down and taken."
-Christina Cary

"I don't care. I'm a dyke."
-Marissa Tanimura

"I'm not in the mood now. I wanted it hours ago..."
-Christina Cary

"Well, I don't have any flight attendants up _my_ ass."
-Julia Bernd

"Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write,
it should be hard to understand."
-Byron Faber

"I know I'm gonna regret this..."
-Christina Cary

"Chris, did you ever notice how so much of what you say can be 
reinterpreted in such a... hmmmm... pleasant way? Except for the stuff 
that requires no interpretation... then you just sound horny."
-Tarik Dozier

"Yeah, I noticed. And then it goes on your homepage."
-Christina Cary

"Imagine me lying naked on a tanning bed, and then these are the things 
that just pop into my head." 
-Rebecca Lehmann

"Thanks for that bit of imagery, Becky. Can you guess what just popped 
into my head?" 
-Tarik Dozier


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   * For more quotes from Allen Hall, see the file of quotes from the * 
   *  newsgroup, uiuc.rha.allen, in Part 6 of Quintessential Quotes.  *