< Tarik Dozier
updated 3 June 2001
True to form, this is the list of questions frequently asked of Tarik Dozier. I was considering simply leaving
it at that - just questions - but I've chosen instead to provide handy
answers right along with them, simply because I'm such a good, kind
person. Now you, too, can find out what everyone else has been asking me,
and you'll most probably be a much better human being for knowing. Let me know if you have any
additional questions.
You know, if this web site isn't enough to answer that one, then you're
simply beyond help. Now go away or I will taunt you another time.
Like the animal.
For some reason, many people who meet me feel somehow compelled to ask me
this. I don't know why; I don't see how this information is at all useful
to anyone, as if there's going to be a Tarik-based trivia competition
later. Why is this meaningful? What's the point? If anyone can tell me
what fuels the compulsion to know my height, let me know; I would much
appreciate it.
I'm 6'6".
Now stop asking me.
A response to my plea, from a reliable source:
I got my first home system - a Tandy Color Computer 2 - in 1984 after
months of begging my father. It was swell. It used the TV for a monitor,
it played its own cartridge games, it could attach to a cassette recorder
to store the programs I wrote in BASIC (Microsoft Extended Color BASIC, to
be precise), and it did just about everything I wanted a computer to do at
the time. I even had a nice little keyboard-driven drawing program on my
little technological marvel (thanks to my early forays into programming
and hours and hours spent with my used copies of Compute! magazine), so I
was satisfied.
Of course, I was nine years old, and though my imagination was quite
thorough in its wanderings, I was ever the realist. I wanted my computer
to do what I could make it do, because I had grown accustomed to not
wanting something I couldn't afford. I didn't have any money, much less
enough for something like the recently-released Macintosh. I was surprised
enough that my father actually got me the rather inexpensive Tandy (which
didn't cost much more than the Atari 2600). I knew that was the best I
could expect, so I made do with what I had. The only person I knew in my
family who was actually enthusiastic about what computers could do was my
uncle, Stevie. Everyone else saw them as toys. I think my mother actually
even saw computers as inconsequential well into the '90s... until my
salary exceeded hers. She still doesn't quite understand what I do for a
living, except that computers are somehow involved.
{Fast-forward past all of the different types of computers I've used since
then.}
There was a time when I had one main system - a Power Macintosh 6100/60 I
bought in 1994 - which fulfilled many of my needs as best it could. On
this box, I could switch between Mac OS, MKLinux, DOS, and Windows at
will, and it was suitable for various levels of work within them. If I
wanted to work with other operating systems, I had access to equipment
that would allow me to do so, as well as accounts on various servers
encompassing many different flavors of UNIX.
But then I began to bring all of my computer work and experimentation
in-house. I got a PC and a 68k Mac to work more extensively with other
Linux distributions and various BSDs. Then I wanted to use more of these
OSs simultaneously, as multibooting is inconvenient and I wanted to deal
with issues of seamless interconnectivity, so I got more boxes. Then as I
grew to want to run more servers, I also recognized that each of these
systems had their own relative merits and flaws, and that I should not
have to settle for doing any work on a system that was not best suited to
the task. So I got more boxes.
Now I have over thirty systems upon which to run Mac OS (8.x, 9.x, and X),
Mac OS X Server, Linux, Solaris, Windows (2000 and NT), BeOS, NetBSD,
OpenBSD, Irix, NEXTSTEP, OPENSTEP, actual UNIX, and NetWare
simultaneously. I've been able to experiment with various means of
clustering - including Linux Beowulf, MSCS, VERITAS FirstWatch and Cluster
Server, Sun Grid Engine, and even Plan9 - in my lab at home.
I'm a pragmatist, and this is my way of getting the results I feel
that I need.
...
I was considering ranting about this, but for now, I'm going to choose
not to dignify it. Perhaps I'll write on my thoughts about that later.
And no, I'm not sorry that I couldn't accomodate your stereotype.
Because I'm right.
Besides, the true definition of "self-righteous" essentially implies
actual, attempted, or hypocritical displays of piety. You should probably
spend some time actually thinking about what you want to ask me; and don't
try to use "sanctimonious," either.
I usually hope that it should be safe to assume that you'll actually say
what you mean, and vice-versa.
I'm afraid you've already wasted your question. Now go back to the end of
the line.
Leave me.
Fine... fine. Let's first deal with the specifics of the definition.
"Egotistical" is characteristic of those having an inflated idea of one's
own importance and of false pride. It can also imply being selfish and
self-centered, and lacking empathy.
So the claim now is that I make ostentatious displays of what I've
learned and supposedly hold a narrow adherence to formal rules? Well, if
we're going to discuss whether or not certain words are befitting to
descriptions of my nature, should we not first and foremost be clear
with one another on such things as syntax and semantics? Surely you want
me to know what you mean, and likewise I want you to know exactly what I
mean. If there exists any confusion over these words and phrases, then
we're just going to end up going in circles about nothing meaningful. If
that's what you want, then I'll choose to have nothing to do with you.
Silence! I have had it with your sassy mouth!
Back to the subject. I'm fully aware of my own importance, and have a
strong and [as far as I'm concerned] accurate sense of self. Everything
I say about myself with seriousness is meant with as much sincerity as
I can muster. I do not like to purport an exaggeration, and consider my
own credibility to be one of my most cherished assets.
You see, I don't like to be wrong. That is definitely not to say that I
don't like it pointed out when I'm wrong, because the truth of that
matter is quite the contrary. When and if I do find out that I'm wrong
about something, it bothers me, but it's a catalyst which leads to a
correction. I'll learn the truth, change my thinking, and then I'll just
end up being right.
There's quite a lot of information out there that I have yet to
assimilate. There's so much that I don't know. However, I know that if
there's something about which I want to learn, then I'll put all of
myself into the pursuit of knowledge of that and most closely related
topics. Internally, I'll declare my intention to become as much of an
authority on the subject as is possible... because I want to know.
When I do know, and when I assert something with absolute certainty,
anyone who chooses to refute me is going to have a difficult time.
I speak, write, and generally act as if I know what I'm talking about,
because I do. When discussing facts, if they are in my possession, then
they are presented as such, and I will be quite confrontational and
dismissive about anything which supposedly contradicts what I know to be
the truth. When discussing opinions, mine are held with asserted with
great conviction, but I will accept that other opinions may exist, and
they all have some level of validity.
I enjoy arguing matters of opinion with others. It's quite entertaining
- especially if I have a great deal of respect for the other person -
and it helps me to stay sharp. However, if someone begins to argue as if
their opinions are indisputable facts, then there's something quite
wrong about the whole thing. I really hate it when people do that; even
if that person is me. We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no
one is entitled to his own facts.
I will admit to being overbearing at times, but my intentions are
quite good.
Egotism? I've spent most of my life attempting to shed anything
resembling an ego, because I think many things related to it are the
root of most human failings. I think I can evolve beyond that within my
lifetime. I find the adage that "we're only human" to be such a pathetic
excuse.
Now kiss my ring.
What's in it for me?
Yes and no. Or no and yes. Or yes. Or no.
It depends.
No, not really.
Who are you?
How should one pronounce your name?
How tall are you? My desire to know your exact height was based on the
obvious: that you are extremely tall. It is a rare and strange thing
when I am only shoulder height on another person. It fucked my shit
right up. Having had my shit fucked up, I figured that I should find
out exactly how tall you were so that in later conversation with others,
I would not be limited to describing you as being "shit-fucking tall."
- Emily Ryan
Why do you have so many computers?
What's with this whole Goth thing? I mean,
you're black, right?
And other incredibly stupid variations on "why are you trying to act
white?"
Why are you so self-righteous?
My mother recently reminded me of how I responded to this as a child. I
used to have an electronic toy in the form of a robot called
Alphie, which would have different cards representing lists of
questions of a sort. Press one button for the correct answer, and he
would give a positive-sounding response. Conversely, the wrong answer
would be met with an equally negative response. I would react pleasantly
(yet relatively unphased) to getting the correct answer. However, my
reaction to being wrong was... let's just say... nothing short of
vitriolic.
I don't like to be wrong, so I put a tremendous amount of effort into
assuring that I'm not. It's not very often that I'll present something
as fact unless I can speak on the subject with absolute and consistent
veracity.
Can I be your friend?
Are you now, or have you ever been?
You would like these additional new Ameritech
features and services, wouldn't you?